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Here are some stuff you can read if your bored. Some funny, and some facts. The 9-11 facts are the must read!
Check these weird coincidences relating to September 11th....
*The day of the attack was 9/11 = 9+1+1=11
*September 11th is the 254th day of the year: 2+5+4=11
*After September 11th there are 111 days left to end the year
*119 is the area code for Iran/Iraq: 1+1+9=11
*Twin towers: standing side by side look like the #11
*The first plane to hit the towers was Flight 11
*State of New York: The 11th state to join the Union
*New York City: Eleven letters
*Afghanistan: Eleven letters
*The Pentagon: Eleven letters
*Ramzi Yousef: Eleven letters (the guy convicted of the attack on WTC in 1993
Arnt those wierd....
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Blonde Jokes
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
Q: What goes vroom screech vroom screech vroom screech?
A: A blonde driving though a flashing red light.
Q: Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice bottle?
A: Because it said concentrate.
Q: What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
A: Last years hide and seek winner.
Q: Why did the blonde try to steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a porche.
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?
A: One.
Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
A: To avoid the draft.
Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot. |
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A Space Invader.
Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture.
Q: If an blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge, who would die first?
A: The brunette -- because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.
Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.
Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel.
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it. |
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Thing to do in an elevator!
FUNNY THINGS TO DO IN A ELEVATOR!!!
* Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your
head.
* Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
* Shave.
* Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering
inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
* Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,
without getting off.
* When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the
doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by
themselves.
* Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm
handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
* On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it
stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft
go "plink" at the bottom.
* Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then
announce: "I've got new socks on!"
* When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back:
"Oh, I hate... motion sickness!"
* Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your
nose. |
* Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say
"oops!"
* Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
* Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce
"You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the
elevator.
* Leave a box between the doors.
* Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button
for them.
* Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers
"through" it.
*pull out a cell phone and ask "what do i do now, i follwed ur randsom requests"
* When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that
your beeper?"
* Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce
to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
* Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
* If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad
touch!"
* While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide
it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
* Start a sing-along.
*Fart as loud as u can and point to the old lady next to you, or if there is a pet in the elevator, point to that |
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These Aren't Really Funny, But True Facts ..
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When the Titanic sunk there was 7,500 lbs of ham on it
Kermit the Frog has 11 points on his collar around his neck.
Playing cards in India are round.
The most collect calls are made on father's day.
1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television
You were born with 300 bones, but when you get to be an adult you only have 206.
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching T.V.
There are ten human body parts that are only three letters long (eye hip arm leg ear toe jaw rib lip gum).
The average life of a taste bud is 10 days.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
A bowling pin need only tilt 7.5 degrees to fall.
The fist product to have a bar code was Wrigleys gum.
We (humans) only use 10% of our brains
Human teeth are almost as hard as rocks.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
The thumbnail grows the slowest; the middle nail grows the fastest
Just twenty seconds worth of fuel remained when Apollo 11's lunar module landed on the moon.
The first time movie audiences were treated to a flushing toilet was in Alfred Hitchcock's 1959 release Psycho |
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